I Can See You’re Staring, and Yes I Heard What You Said!

22 May

Besides the obvious frustrations of living with Pseudoachondroplasia, what I find most annoying (and upsetting sometimes) is when people stare.  Yes, I am shorter than most people my age, and yes, my legs are disproportionate to the length of my torso, and yes, I do have to use crutches otherwise my stride isn’t smooth, but I am just as observant as anyone else, and I do notice people staring. And commenting. The amount of times I’ve heard ‘look at that girl, she’s really short’, ‘wow, she’s small’, ‘look at that midget’ and all sorts of other height related comments! I’m not deaf, I CAN hear you! The most appalling thing is that it isn’t always children that say these things.  If it was, I could understand – but when a teenager, or an adult says it, I am less than impressed. Surely by the time you’ve spent a few years on this planet you would have acquired a little respect for others, or some sensitivity?! Obviously not.  I have challenged a few people in the past, asking them what exactly it is they find so fascinating about me, because I’ve noticed they’ve been looking for an awfully long time – it results in them blushing, feeling very awkward and an embarrassed ‘sorry’.

The point is though, I shouldn’t have to do this.

I accept that there is no ‘normal’ in life. Everyone is different, physically and mentally. What a boring world this would be if it wasn’t the case!  I think the diversity of people should be embraced.  So why do some people think that anyone who doesn’t fit their idea of ‘normal’ is there to be ridiculed and that it’s okay to stare, point or say things about them?!  I’m pleased that I’m not a particularly sensitive person, because if I was I think I would have extremely low self esteem by now.  What I try to remember is that  it is these people who have the bigger problem, not me.  I may have a different appearance to a majority of society, but what I also have is a lot of empathy for others.  They may consider themselves ‘normal’, but they clearly don’t have much understanding of people – or any consideration for others’ feelings.  I know how I would rather be! 🙂

This is turning into a bit of a rant, which I didn’t want it to be…! I will stop going on now, for fear of making this post one fuelled with anger, but what I wanted to get across was that I think it’s wrong that people stare and point.  It’s rude. It’s hurtful. It shouldn’t be accepted.  I would far rather someone approached me and asked why I was short than to have them point and whisper… I would be more than willing to explain if someone was curious! But if you’re unwilling to talk to the person you’re talking about, then don’t talk about them.  It’s difficult enough facing problems brought about by disability without having others pointing them out!

Okay, rant over! 😉



4 Responses to “I Can See You’re Staring, and Yes I Heard What You Said!”

  1. Product of a Dysfunctional Family May 25, 2012 at 2:44 am #

    Normal is as normal does.

  2. Jamie June 16, 2015 at 12:32 am #

    Love this post, Ruby! Thank you!

  3. Darla DiPietro August 20, 2016 at 5:56 pm #

    Dear Ruby, I too am PSEUDO. I am 65 years old and I am thrilled that you tell it like it is. I remember when I was your age. My determination to “change people’s perspective” of persons affected with dwarfism. Forty years later, I feel we are still stuck. I had all but given up thinking the younger generation is surrendering to society’s ignorance. Not just society in general either, I am finding the same in the medical community. Despite the fact that I participated in 4 studies of PSEUDO, I find that much information that one can find is incomplete, or just incorrect. One reason is lack of follow up.

    I would love to correspond with you. I noticed at the end of some of your blogs, you apologize for expressing the truth. Don’t ever apologize to anyone for telling it like it is.

    Thank you
    Darla DiPietro
    Fredericksburg, VA, USA

    • rubysoniaallen August 7, 2018 at 2:31 pm #

      Hello! I don’t know how I missed your comments on this blog before – they’ve only just been flagged up for me! Feel free to email me on rubysallen@hotmail.com if you wish to 🙂 x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: